The Twins Of Storybrooke Shorts
by juicecupswanqueen
Summary: A compilation of shorts that I had post, in script style, on my Tumblr. Come spend a little time with Regina, Emma and their twin daughters, Audrey and Sophie Swan-Mills. These are separate from the actual ficlets, which I will still post individually in the series.
1. At the Video Store

The Swan-Mills Family is at the video rental store.

 **EMMA:** (to Audrey and Sophie) One movie. You get to pick one movie.

 **REGINA:** And we are not watching "Babe" again.

 **EMMA:** And not "Peter Pan" or "Robin Hood". We don't need a repeat of last February. (rolls her eyes and Regina snorts)

 **AUDREY:** "The Little Mermaid"!

 **REGINA:** Please no.

 **SOPHIE:** "Frozen"?

 **EMMA:** Not again…

(Audrey and Sophie roll their eyes in a very Regina-like way, their eyes light up)

 **AUDREY:** "Sleeping Beauty"!

 **REGINA:** (growls her disapproval) Maybe we should read a book.

 **EMMA:** Oh, the good old days when these characters weren't real people that I actually know. (encircles arms around Regina's waist and rests chin on her shoulder)

 **THE TWINS:** "101 Dalmatians"?

 **MOMS:** No!

 **EMMA:** Okay, I'm calling it. (peruses DVD covers, grabs 3, looks at Regina) They're not real, right?

 **REGINA:** (smiles and shakes head). Uh-Uh.

 **EMMA:** (fans covers toward the twins) We've got "Tom  & Jerry", "Jimmy Neutron" or "Sponge Bob". Take your pick.


	2. Family Camping Trip & the Magic Bathroom

_Somewhere out in the woods outside of town._

 **REGINA:** (smiles, leans close) I love you, Emma.

 **EMMA:** (captures lips in a kiss) I love you, Regina. (another kiss)

 **HENRY:** (from a short distance). Yeah, everyone loves everyone. The walls of this two-room tent are literally paper thin…

 **AUDREY** and **SOPHIE SWAN-MILLS** are giggling at Henry.

 **AUDREY:** It's technically a three-room tent with the magic bathroom Mommy put in.

 **EMMA:** (chuckles cuddling her wife tighter) Yes, because Mommy is spoiled and needs a toilet while camping in the woods now.

 **REGINA:** (scoffs into Emma's neck). Not like you haven't been to the Enchanted Forest before.

 **HENRY:** Anything beats pooping into holes in the ground.

 **EMMA:** Ok, no more poop talk. Everyone go to sleep. (Feels Regina's hand slip under her night shirt and she gasps and whispers) My Queen, your hands are cold!

 **HENRY:** We can still hear you!

 **REGINA** : Sorry dear, I'll put up a silencing spell.

 **HENRY:** (pause, groans into his pillow) Knowing that doesn't help, thanks. You two are a couple of horny toads.

The five year old twins stop their giggling and frown at Henry.

 **AUDREY:** The moms aren't _toads_ , Henry, and they don't have _horns_.

 **SOPHIE:** If the moms are horny toads can I be a horny toad too?

 **REGINA:** No one's a toad go to sleep.

 **SOPHIE:** Mommy, I love you.

 **REGINA:** (smiles) I love you too, Sweetheart.

 **EMMA, REGINA** and **THE TWINS** exchange "I love yous" while Henry groans.

 **SOPHIE:** Oh Henry, don't be such a grumpy butt!

 **AUDREY:** He wouldn't be if Paige was here. (bats her eyelashes). Oh Paige, I love you.

 **SOPHIE:** (makes loud kissing noises)

 **HENRY:** That's it! (rears up and tickles both girls to loud unrestrained laughter)

 **EMMA:** (shaking her head with REGINA holding back their laughter) Okay, settle down and go to sleep.

 **HENRY:** (pause, everyone has quieted down) Um, don't forget the spell. (Both his little sisters curl up against either side of him)

 **REGINA:** (chuckles) Yes, dear.

 **SOPHIE:** Mommy?

 **REGINA:** Yes, Soph?

 **SOPHIE:** When we go in the magic bathroom… Where does the poop go?

 _Somewhere in Storybrooke._

 **MARY MARGARET:** Neal! David! Which one of you keeps forgetting to flush the toilet?!


	3. Welcome Home, Your Majesty!

**Ficlet Summary:** Audrey and Sophie need saving and they look to mommy, Regina who has just arrived home from work. Swan-Mills family fun ensues with a little bit of romance. Short one-shot.

* * *

"MOMMY!" A flailing 5-year old Audrey Swan-Mills crashed into Regina, who had just entered in through the back door, with her excited giggling twin following after her.

"MOMMY!" Sophie cackled, clutching at her waist as if she were a lifeline, while Audrey hid behind Regina, "IF YOU LOVE US, HELP US!"

The dark haired mother chuckled at that. _Ah, the logic of five year olds_. Placing a soothing hand on each daughter's head, she said, "Well of course I love you, but what am I _saving_ you from?"

"The Tickle Monster…" Audrey pointed, pressing her check against Regina's hip. Regina's eyes widened at the news and her heart started to race faster in excitement. _Uh oh!_

Regina looked around eyes alight looking for a hiding place for all three of them.

A blonde head peeked into the room and upon seeing Regina home, the jokingly sinister look on Emma's face softened into gladness.

"Hi Babe," Emma greeted but then the twins hiding behind the woman caught her eye and she assumed her role again. "Now where are those two munchkins? I need to tickle. I must tickle!"

Regina tried moving away but the twins were glued to her and Emma faltered briefly, chuckling. Then she hunched over menacingly and made claws with her fingers in front of her.

"Now… now, Emma…" Regina put her hands out in front of her like shields and a wide grin on her lips.

Emma swallowed a laugh. Looks like she might have an additional victim and that goaded her on and quite frankly sent a spark shooting through her body, as it usually did when she thought about touching Regina.

"Looks like I'll have to go through the queen!" The girls laughed and clung to Regina as she walked backwards.

"Miss Swan-…"

"MILLS!" The twins and Emma corrected, adding the ending to the hyphenated name as they usually did.

Regina chortled, "Mrs. Swan-Mills, don't you dare!"

"I am the savior AND the queen's consort. Do you know what that means?"

Sophie and Audrey frowned. "Your Mommy's concert?"

Regina looked down. "Consort, Sophie dear. That means she is my spouse, my wife."

"Ohhh…" Audrey mentally filed the word away to try and use at another time.

"Anyway," Emma stated coming closer, "Since I am the queen's consort, I can tickle the queen whenever I want."

"Yeah, tickle _her_ , not us," they giggled.

"Hey!" Regina laughed. "This is treason."

Deciding she was going to attack all three, Emma croaked out before she lunged, "Need… to tickle… somebody…AAAAHHH…"

"NO, MA!" Sophie yelped and screamed with a toothy laugh.

"GET HER, MOMMY!" Audrey shouted, cackling, and together the twins pushed at Regina's lower back, propelling her into Emma just as she reached them. Both women squawked in surprise as their bodies collided, their arms going around one another. Their daughters squealed and took the opportunity to flee, escaping up the stairs in a fit of screams and giggles.

Emma chuckled into her wife's dark cropped hair as Regina clutched at her trying to catch her balance. Wrapping her arms more securely around her queen's waist, the younger mother lifted Regina and set her solidly on those ankle breaking spiked high heels of hers.

"You know what just happened, don't you, babe?" Emma nuzzled Regina's neck, loving how she smelled. "Our beautiful twins just sold you out."

She was rewarded with the queen's rich, sexy, snicker in her ear as the woman hugged her tighter to her, warming Emma with affection.

When they separated just enough to share a gaze, Regina palmed Emma's cheek and they leaned their foreheads together.

"Hi." Emma said simply to welcome her wife home.

Regina smiled back a tender thumb stroking a soft cheek. "Hi."

Their lips drew closer and just before they touched, Emma smiled and Regina shrieked and jumped, howling in laughter. _"Emma!"_ Regina's guffaws were heard all through the downstairs, as she squirmed against Emma's mercilessly wriggling fingers at her flanks. "Stop!"

Emma stopped and Regina was out of breath. The blonde held her more snugly against her and silenced her with a heady kiss that in seconds Regina succumbed to, wrapping her arms around Emma's neck.

"Welcome home, Your Majesty."


	4. For the Love of Ice Cream

**Summary:** Just some Family Fluff on a Friday. Snow is watching over the Twins and this little interlude happens when Swan Queen arrive to pick Audrey and Sophie up.

* * *

Snow White is watching over her granddaughters while their mothers have an emergency department head meeting on a Saturday afternoon.

With the meeting over, Regina and Emma walk through the loft's front door to find Snow and Audrey coloring and Sophie and Neal playing with action figures.

 **THE TWINS:** MOMS!

 **REGINA:** (embraces a hugging Audrey) Hi there.

 **EMMA:** (intercepts a charging Sophie and sweeps her into her arms) Whoa! So what are you two up to?

 **AUDREY:** Coloring a castle with Grandma.

 **SOPHIE:** Kicking Neal's butt at war.

 **NEAL:** You are not!

 **SOPHIE:** Yes, I am!

 **AUDREY:** (rolls her eyes at them and then gives Regina an adoring look) Look, Mommy. Grandma says that this looks like _our_ castle in the Enchanted Forest.

 **REGINA:** (eyebrow lift, smirk at Snow) _Our_ castle, is it?

 **EMMA:** (snickers, plops Sophie into her wife's arms, grabs the other twin up)

 **SNOW:** (smiles over her shoulder carrying a few dirty dishes to the kitchen sink) Yes. _Our_ castle.

 **AUDREY:** I wish I could see it.

Snow and Regina share a knowing grin.

 **EMMA:** Maybe one day, we'll figure out a way to see it, Aud.

 **SOPHIE:** Yeah! And Ma can teach us how to sword fight and Mommy can teach us to ride horses and Grandma and Grandpa can teach us how to…

 **REGINA:** (jokes)…Lark about with canaries and get stuck in trees.

 **SNOW:** (fixes Regina with a pointed glare) Never underestimate the helpfulness of birds. And David got stuck in that tree _once._

 **EMMA:** What? When was this?

 **REGINA:** (giggles) That year you and Henry were in New York. His boot got caught descending and he was hanging upside down and swinging for a good few minutes.

 **SNOW:** (in a hushed tone) It's probably best if you forget you heard that.

 **EMMA:** Not a chance.

 **NEAL:** (to Snow) Hey Mom, can I have a chocolate chip cookie?

 **THE TWINS:** Me too!

 **EMMA:** (excitedly) Me too!

 **REGINA:** (reaches out, pulls Emma back against her into her arms, children run off toward Snow) Come here.

 **EMMA:** But she's got cookies…

 **REGINA:** (quietly) Which can't possibly be better than what I am offering you. (wiggles eyebrows)

 **EMMA:** (sees kids and Snow preoccupied, realizes the privacy of the moment) Point well made. (turns in Regina's arms and kisses her)

 **REGINA:** (deepens kiss, pulls away) There. Now isn't that better than a chocolate chip cookie?

 **EMMA:** Almost.

 **REGINA:** (doubtful twist of the lips) And what more is there?

 **EMMA:** Your laugh.

Regina wears a confused crease in her forehead before Emma quickly spins her, holding her in a tandem embrace. With arms crossed over her middle, Regina laughs a little in anticipation, feeling Emma's fingers press her flanks.

 **REGINA:** If you tickle me, I am not responsible for your injuries. (is tickled, screams) EMMA!

Regina and Emma double over as Emma tickles her. The twins notice and race over.

 **THE TWINS:** TICKLE FIGHT! TICKLE FIGHT!

 **REGINA:** NO! No tickle fight!

 **EMMA:** I've got you right where I want you, Your Majesty. (buries face in Regina's neck and tickles her that way)

 **REGINA:** (uncontrolled laughter). Miss Swan!

 **THE TWINS:** (including a head-shaking Snow and an eye-rolling Neal) MILLS!

 **REGINA:** (broken laughter to the twins) I will let you _both_ have ice cream with your cookies if you help me.

Audrey and Sophie beam at each other for a heartbeat and then attack Emma.

 **EMMA:** HEY! (laughs, releases Regina, wrestled by two 5-yr olds to the floor)

 **AUDREY:** Sorry, Ma…

 **SOPHIE:** But it's ice cream!

Regina escapes with a smile into Snow's kitchen.

 **SNOW:** Bribing them with ice cream. (leans against counter, brings a cup to her lips)

 **REGINA:** Anything _not_ to be tickled. Your daughter is so "handsy". (pauses, wiggles eyebrows, husks low enough for Snow's hearing) Not that I would normally complain about that. (Snow sputters her tea, Regina opens the freezer door) Do you have mint chocolate chip?

 **SNOW:** Is that the Twins' favorite?

 **REGINA:** It is this week.

 **SNOW:** We're more a rainbow sherbet family.

 **REGINA:** Hmm… (closes freezer door, magically waves her hand, opens door again, pulls out mint chocolate chip ice cream)

After dishing out bowls of ice cream, Regina looks to the wriggling lumps on the floor. The Twins tickling Emma and Neal finally relenting and joining the fray to help his sister.

 **REGINA:** ICE CREAM!

 **SNOW:** (a second later) COME AND GET IT!

The kids race to the kitchen counter and perch themselves on stools digging immediately into the ice cream. Snow supervises while eating her own small bowl.

Regina saunters over to Emma who is sitting cross legged on the floor while leaning back on outstretched arms. Her eyes follow Regina who is approaching with hands behind her back. When she reaches Emma, Regina slowly presents a bowl of ice cream.

Emma's gaze wanders back and forth from the bowl to Regina's face and in a fast move, she grabs Regina's hand and pulls her down to sit in her lap.

 **REGINA:** (surprised squawk) I could have dropped this all over you!

 **EMMA:** (arms wrap around her) I knew you wouldn't have. (peppers soft kisses on Regina's cheek and neck)

 **REGINA:** Mrs. Swan-Mills… (murmurs loud enough for only Emma's ears) If you keep kissing me like that and touching me THERE, I'm going to melt faster than your ice cream.

 **EMMA:** (chuckles into her wife's ear) Works for me.

 **REGINA:** (looks over at her children, notices them not paying any attention, nuzzles her nose against Emma's) So you _don't_ want your ice cream then, Emma?

 **EMMA:** While you are a much sweeter treat, Regina, I'm not crazy.

Emma snatches the bowl up and scoops a bite into her mouth and hums her delight.

 **REGINA:** (chuckles and smiles) Of course you are, dear. It's what I love about you. (takes an offered bite of ice cream, shares a cold creamy kiss with Emma)


	5. Swan Queen and the Parent Meeting

**Summary:** Regina and Emma attend a School Meeting but end up having a comical tiff instead.

 **A/N:** I had posted this awhile ago on Tumblr so many might have read it. However, it was an oversight not to post it on the Fanfiction reading sites. Audrey and Sophie are mentioned, but sadly do not show up in this short ficlet. It's still funny though and I like to think that the Twins of Storybrooke are there in spirit.

* * *

 **REGINA:** You're late, dear.

 **EMMA:** Yea, sorry about that. My WIFE decided to pack my lunch today and all I found was a plastic container of blended apple, kale and carrot juice with a bran muffin on the side.

 **REGINA:** It's wholesome and nutritious.

 **EMMA:** It looked like sea monster vomit in a cup.

 **SNOW:** Ladies, please. We're in a meeting.

 **EMMA:** What? You're my mother.

 **SNOW:** Right now I'm your daughters' principal!

 **EMMA:** You mean your GRANDDAUGHTERS?

 **REGINA:** (ignores current conversation, turns to Emma) Lunch was delicious.

 **EMMA:** I wouldn't know. I didn't eat it.

 **SNOW:** Maybe we should proceed...

 **REGINA:** What do you mean you didn't eat it?

 **EMMA:** I didn't eat it!

 **SNOW:** (waves to get their attention) Hello?

 **REGINA:** (crosses arms) Well, what DID you eat then?

 **SNOW:** Principal trying to talk here.

 **EMMA:** (defiantly pins Regina with a stare) I went to Granny's and had a DOUBLE bacon, grilled onion cheeseburger and French fries with a chocolate milkshake chaser.

 **SNOW:** (shakes head in hands) Oh geez.

 **REGINA:** You did WHAT?

 **EMMA:** You heard me.

 **REGINA:** EMMA!

 **EMMA:** (imitates) REGINA!

 **SNOW:** (points to self) Principal!

 **EMMA:** (to her mom) SHHH!

 **REGINA:** (to Snow at the same time) Oh shut up!

They both stare at each other hard again while Snow tilts her eyes heavenward and closes them while shaking her head.

 **REGINA:** Do you know what those things are doing to your body as we speak?

 **EMMA:** I don't know about you but my body's feeling pretty thankful.

 **REGINA:** You think so? Let's see how it feels when your ASS is sleeping on the couch tonight.

 **EMMA:** (scoffs) Are you serious? For eating a cheeseburger. Who are you? My mother?

 **SNOW:** No... that would be me.

 **EMMA:** (jokingly) You just said you were the principal.

There's a knock at the door. The school janitor, Leroy, pokes his head in.

 **LEROY:** Snow, you called to have some extra stuff thrown out?

 **SNOW:** Yes, Leroy. Those bags by the wall.

Leroy nods to Regina and Emma but they only crack a small smile alerting him to the tension in the room. He awkwardly shuffles towards the trash knowing well what could happen between the Sheriff and the Mayor, even though they've been married for years and were perfect for one another.

 **REGINA:** (to Emma) Do you even care about your heart and arteries? Because I do.

 **EMMA:** Oh my God, Babe! Look at this body. I am in prime condition. (flexes arms) I don't mean to BRAG but look at these! (holds her arm up to a passing Leroy)

 **LEROY:** (puts garbage bag down and feels Emma's arm) Wow, those are some serious guns you got there, sister! (Looks up to find Regina glaring at him and Snow subtly waving for him to leave while he can) Um...

 **SNOW:** Thanks, Leroy. That's it. (waits a beat, looks at two cross-armed irritated women) Okay... Why don't we just forget about this whole thing and move on. What's done is...

 **REGINA:** (scowls at Snow) Don't you have chalkboard erasers to BANG somewhere?

 **SNOW:** (tilts head back and sighs at the ceiling)

 **EMMA:** Babe, it's not like I eat like this all the time. And I think I've done pretty good with all the other stuff you give me. I actually like flaxseed and goji berries now. (sees Regina soften and puts a hand on her forearm) Heck! I've even gotten used to grilled cheese on WHEAT bread! (looks into Regina's eyes meaningfully, smiles) But I draw the line at "cat puke in a can".

 **SNOW:** (mumbles unheard) I don't even think a cat would eat the stuff Regina gives you.

 **REGINA:** (pause, raises eye brow, smirks) There was no "milkshake chaser" was there.

 **EMMA:** (smiles wider and nods yes) No.

 **REGINA:** (strokes Emma's hand) And the grilled onions?

 **EMMA:** It was a plain hamburger, no cheese and with a side salad instead of fries. (happy with Regina's megawatt smile) And NO onions. I WAS planning on kissing you later. (wiggles eyebrows)

Both women have eyes only for each other and ignore Snow's twisted mouth as the moment seems inappropriately intimate all of a sudden.

 **REGINA:** Only later?

 **EMMA:** Well... Maybe a lot sooner than then.

 **REGINA:** How about right now?

 **EMMA:** How about we take this someplace more private?

 **REGINA:** Follow me then, Sheriff Swan.

 **EMMA:** To the ends of the Earth, babe. (opens door for Regina) So am I still sleeping on the couch?

 **REGINA:** (as door closes behind them) Lucky for you I happen to like "your guns" wrapped around me in bed where they belong.

Snow is left with an empty blinking expression at their vacated chairs.

 **SNOW:** Well, Audrey and Sophie are adjusting really well to school life. They love kindergarten and play well with others. (pause, dismissive wave at the chairs) I'll just tell them everything at Sunday dinner.


End file.
